Totally Choice

GOOD NEWS! Now when you mimic a gay police officer, you could be saving the planet!

You’ve done it at weddings, athletic competitions, and bad concerts. If you’re a complete dumbass, you’ve probably even done it alone in your room. What is it? It’s the YMCA dance, and it’s becoming a common occurrence at “Green” events across the nation.

Al Gore has announced that the YMCA dance could possibly reverse the effect of harmful emissions released into the environment. Though his theory is not backed by any concrete factual evidence, Al is quick to point out, “Neither is man-made climate change.”

So, go ahead. Buy that gas guzzling SUV. Spray aerosol cans until your fingers fall off. Just make sure you party like it’s 1979. Our future depends on it.

Thanks for making my tubes so slow. Not those tubes… gross. That was last week.

I think I’m going to use EXTRA hairspray until my posts show up faster. Hell, I might even throw away this diet coke can, in the regular, non-recyclable garbage can.

I heard the most amazing song on am radio on my way into work the other day, and immediately went and purchased this bad boy. It’s almost like, what do I want to say, working man’s music. The driving rhythm, that soulful, sexy graveling voice… really makes a brother want to get up and break it down. Or at the very least shove out some fist pumps up in this joint. The track I grabbed, Dancing in the Dark, has even boosted the productivity of these bank statements I’m reconciling.
I think this bad boy’s gonna go places.
It’s reconcile time, bitches!

Dead Cell phones that is.
“If someone could invent a god damn phone that stays charged longer than a day, that would be fucking fantastic”.

After a 2 hour long study this evening attempting to perfect the hit song “La Bamba” on the new piano Lynsey Wellenhirk received early for Christmas this year, it was determined that any song not technically categorized as “classical” sounds like ass when put into a classical format.
Says Lynsey, after compiling the results of her study, “Any song not technically categorized as “classical” sounds like ass when put into a classical format.”

20 years from now, this will make for one hell of a prized, ironic t-shirt for the youth.
Until then, I’m going to categorize it as completely absurd.