Totally Choice

Review: Clap Plush Doll
Source: giantmicrobes

It’s too bad Valentine’s Day has just ended; Gonorrhea would have been the perfect gift for my mate.

Giantmicrobes.com has an adorable lineup of products, including this cuddly little Clap Plush Doll, perfect for those awkward moments in which you must inform those whom you have infected. Also great for baby showers!

Even better, the product line at this store appears to have a plush doll for a wide variety of ailments, helping patrons like myself find the perfect gift for the hypochondriacs in our lives.

Other Plush Microbes to discover:

Ulcer, Ebola, Typhoid Fever, Stomach Ache & E.coli.

Get some today! (and buy a plush doll while you’re at it)

review: silicone ‘nerve’ bra source: enlightened.com

Procrastinating men who have yet to purchase a gift for Valentines Day, worry not. I have found your perfect present!

It is called the Silicone ‘Nerve’ Bra. And trust me, if you give this item to your lover tonight, you’ll be giving her a Valentines Day gift she’ll never forget.

Not only is this item an immediate turn on for women, but can also be used as a flashlight or a stylish Christmas tree decoration.

The ‘Nerve’ Bra is to underwear as the Swiss Army Knife is to cutlery, making this product “Totally Choice.”

review: Neck Koozie  source: www.wompro.com

I found this little trinket on www.wompro.com listed under the ”Cool New Products” category.

Take your drink anywhere without losing it!

Cool new product?  Over the last few years, I’ve seen this around the neck of almost every person at my trailer park.  I don’t know how new it is, but I do know how cool it is.  The Neck Koozie works great.  By hanging your beer around your neck, you free up both hands.  Now you can use one hand for smoking cigarettes while using your other hand for punching people, or grabbing your junk at chics (they love this), or fiddling with your pickup truck’s motor, or just simply flipping through the TV channels.

Though a good product, there is one serious design flaw.  A person is required to lift one’s beer to his/her face when taking a drink.  I maybe would have incorporated some type of straw devise.  Still, I give it 7 marks out of 10.  That makes this product “Pretty Choice” and a must have for any serious beer drinking multitasker.

Review: Wii Sports Experiment, Results!
Source: wiinintendo.net

Ever since my nephew got a Nintendo Wii for Christmas, I’ve had a nagging pain in my shoulder from out-bowling the pants off of his sorry ass. I had convinced myself that the children of his generation would later become boo-hoo-carpel-tunnel-fibromyalgic-whiney-pants. Chiropractors should be so delighted.

Yet, after coming across this young gentleman’s blog post, I wondered, does the Nintendo Wii actually have some overall health benefit? Does pseudo-reality sporting a more active generation make? Take a look for yourselves:

Six weeks ago, I began what has become a huge obsession of mine. It is called the “Wii Sports Experiment” I outlined a 6 week game plan for myself, the idea being that I would continue ALL normal activity and eating habits, and simply add 30 minutes of Wii Sports to my day. For the past month and a half, I’ve stuck to these guidelines very strictly.”

To be honest, I was genuinely surprised by my end results, so I’ll just get right to it. I lost 9lbs!“

Perhaps a great plan in theory, but I am going to leave this up for you to decide. Is this guy a Wiitard? Or is the Wii Diet Totally Choice. Post your score (on a scale of 1-10) below, and we will post his score in one week.

Review: S.F. Company Launches ‘Meth Coffee’
Source: iWon news

You know what my venti dark roast cream-splenda-splenda-splenda coffee could use right now?  A shot of meth.

A San Francisco company, aptly named ‘Meth Coffee’ has recently launched this new energizer, allowing coffee drinkers to get that little extra boost they need.  According to iWon news,

It’s a thinly veiled reference to methamphetamines, but the company admits there is no meth in its coffee - just rich arabica coffee beans and something a little different called yerba mate.

Yerba mate comes from South America and is used to make teas and coffees there. Sellers of yerba mate products claim it raises your energy level, so pairing it with already caffeinated coffee beans could provide quite the boost.”

I’ll take mine with whip, and red-bull, please.   This look is sooooo Choice right now:

Review: The BabyKeeper
Source: mommysentials

Having trouble finding a good spot to plop your baby in a dirty bathroom?  The next time you need to drop a load, why not drop your baby into one of these?  For only $39.99, you can avoid a germ-ridden floor and secure your child to the stall door.  And we all know that those are clean! 

I won’t get into the logistics of how you might actually go about “hanging” your baby with out dropping it.  Nor will I mention how much set-up and tear down this device must require.  My guess is that if you are using one of these, you will also be attached to your child via some sort of kiddie leash. 

Just don’t come crying to us when your lock doesn’t work and the door gets flung open by some unsuspecting urinator.